10.2023

Anahata was a doozy. Matters of the heart have always been close to home, spiritually and emotionally. Like Svadhisthana I struggled with the imagery and expectations I had for this piece. In addition to that, I was also in the midst of moving back to Crested Butte. Returning to the west was a need but I didn’t know the toll it would take on my wellbeing. I put my creativity on hold while I settled into my truly autonomous state. It wasn’t until early July that I began painting again. My typical introverted spirit had transformed into a fully fledged extrovert. All I wanted was to expand and connect. Anahata is the heart chakra. It is our social identity. This is where we build reciprocal relationships, it is our right to love and be loved. 

Element: Air

Color: Green

My title: “Expansion”

Around this same time I was beginning to open up to meeting new people, nurturing some romance, and being vulnerable. Of course that comes with some major emotional rides. I also decided it was a safe choice for me to get on birth control. I knew going into this that I would be challenged majorly. Unfortunately, I was challenged beyond what I believe I could handle. Everything in my life looked great on paper, but internally, I was deeply suffering. I expanded into territory that was dangerous for me. I found that I had been slowly burying myself again to fit into a box I thought I belonged. Luckily, it didn’t take me years to realize it, it only took me a few weeks. I struggle with the idea of opening my heart to more love and energy. The vulnerability is so painful. I feel it in the center of my chest. It feels dense, stiff, and tight. 

The element of Anahata is air. I reflect on the reciprocity of blood to oxygen. In order to survive, these two ingredients need to be working together. We cannot live without both of them in harmony. Humans are relational beings. I had been healing in isolation for so many months. It wasn’t until I was back in my real world that I found that I have so much more work to do. “Are you healed? Or are you isolated with nothing to trigger you?” It took a lot of time to recognize the importance of expanding and the courage it takes to do so. 

This piece displays two creatures! A pronghorn antelope. An airy symbol across many schools of theory. He is accompanied by a Rocky Mountain Bluebird, kindly perched on his horn. This is to show that we cannot heal and know love truly on our own. We need community and connection in order to thrive. The antelope’s chest cavity is exposed, revealing a set of lungs and a heart, its pure vulnerability. The two are flanked by a swirling slick rock of a canyon, full of wind and clouds. 

Listen to my Anahata playlist here